"He called me baby, and I let him film it"
This is a line from a poem I wrote a while back and this weeks theme reminded me of it. It’s about a guy I slept with and how we filmed our sexual encounter. I find it really hard to watch back because I just think it’s really awkward to watch myself have sex. I’ve never had a problem with other people seeing me naked but seeing myself was a completely different matter. There’s something bizarre and strange about watching yourself in that kind of intimate atmosphere, because in the moment you just don’t think. I think that’s almost a given with sex, that we deny thought and allow our animalistic spontaneity to take over our senses and overwhelm us. Seeing myself in that light was like seeing a stranger, someone I didn’t know at all. It’s fascinating.
This picture sort of reflects the mood of strange and unknown, there’s something dark about it. I hope you like it.
Much love, Naughty Lyla xXx
This is fantastic - and i love that opening line. The only thing i’d offer up is the fact that i think during sex we do think - we think like beings who are getting what they want. No second guessing. No moving backwards. Say it, feel it, do it. It can be hugely uncomfortable watching ourselves in that form - the one where we don’t bother to edit out of some false sense of obligation.